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Welcome to the Whole Hearted Women Podcast, a Christ-centered space where faith meets emotional healing and the quiet work of heart restoration.
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I'm Chris Ray, and I'm really grateful you're here today.
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Around here, we talk honestly about the places in life where our hearts have been shaped, sometimes by pain, by loss, by wounds we've carried, and how God gently restores us back into holiness.
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This podcast is for the women who love God deeply but senses there is more, more healing, more freedom, and more life available in him.
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If you've ever felt like you've been carrying wounds you didn't know how to name, or patterns you didn't know how to change, you're not alone.
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God cares deeply about the condition of our hearts, and in today's episode, we're going to explore why guarding the gates of our heart is essential for your life.
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Let's dig in.
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Last episode we talked about how God restores the broken places of our hearts.
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But today we're going to talk about something just as important: how to guard and steward the heart he is restoring.
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Let's start with a scripture that has shaped the way many believers think about the heart.
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Proverbs 423 says, Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.
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Let's stop and talk about that phrase for a moment.
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Above all else.
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I love researching scripture and really sitting with it.
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When I break down the meaning of a verse or a passage, it begins to settle deeper into my heart.
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I get to meditate on it, reflect on it, chew on it, turn it over in my mind and spirit, and let it really marinate inside me.
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And when I look up the meaning of the phrase above all else, it essentially means more than anything else, more important than everything else.
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In other words, this instruction from God carries weight, not after everything else, not when life slows down, not when you finally have time to think about it, but above all else, because everything flows from the heart.
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Your thoughts flow from the heart, your reactions flow from the heart, your relationships flow from the heart.
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Even your beliefs about yourself, about God, and about others are shaped in the heart.
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And this is why guarding it matters so much, because the condition of the heart shapes the direction of our life.
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And it makes me wonder sometimes how many situations in our lives or situations we found ourselves in years ago might have looked different if we had truly understood the priority of above all else.
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If we had learned earlier how to guard our hearts.
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God doesn't tell us to guard our hearts to limit us.
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He tells us to guard our hearts because he desires for us to live wisely, to make fruitful decisions, and to live from a heart that is aligned with his.
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When our hearts are close to the Father, something beautiful begins to happen.
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We begin to recognize his ways.
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We begin to discern his wisdom, and we begin to respond to life in ways that reflect his heart.
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It's the kind of closeness where you start to know what the Father would do because you've learned his heart.
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When our hearts stay close to the Father, we begin to live in ways that reflect his heart and his ways.
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Maybe you've experienced something like this.
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You've had moments with God where something inside you felt like it was finally healing.
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You felt lighter, more peaceful, more secure in who you are.
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And then suddenly a conversation happens, a comment is made, and old memory surfaces, and relationship dynamics pull you back into an old pattern, and you find yourself and thinking to yourself, I thought I was past this.
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Or why do I feel like I'm back in the same place again?
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Many women assume this means their heart wasn't healed, but often the real issue is something else.
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The heart was restored, but the gates were never guarded.
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Before we talk about guarding the gates of the heart, it's helpful to understand something interesting.
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The word gate appears throughout the Bible hundreds of times.
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In Scripture, a gate is simply an opening, a doorway, an entrance point, a place where something is allowed to come in or go out.
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But gates were also very important places in biblical life.
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They were places of decision.
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People gathered at the city gates to make judgments, conduct business, and determine who was allowed to enter or leave the city.
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In other words, gates were places where discernment and authority was exercised.
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Someone had to decide, do we open the gate or do we keep it closed?
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And that idea connects directly to our hearts.
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When Proverbs tells us to guard our heart, it's really inviting us to become stewards of the gates of our heart.
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Because just like a city has gates, our hearts have gates too.
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The things we listen to, the voices we allow influence over us, the environment we stay in, the beliefs we allow to take root, all of these are entry points into the heart.
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And every day, whether we realize it or not, we are opening gates or closing gates.
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We are saying yes to some things and we are saying no to others.
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Gates are not meant to restrict life, they are meant to protect what is valuable inside.
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Imagine a city with no gates.
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Anything could enter, anyone could come in.
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There would be no protection.
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And the same is true for the heart.
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Guarding the heart does not mean building walls around your life either.
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It means learning to wisely steward what enters your inner world.
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One of the most important truths about guarding the heart is this: no one else can guard your heart for you.
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People can influence us, people can speak into our lives, people can shape how we see things for a season, but ultimately each of us is responsible for the gates of our own heart.
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And learning when to say yes and when to say no is one of the most important parts of spiritual maturity.
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But this is also where many women struggle because no one ever really taught us how to steward the gates of our heart.
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And this is something I see often in the work I do with women.
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Many women experience real moments of healing with God.
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They feel Him restoring something inside them, but no one ever taught them how to protect that healing afterward.
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So they return to the same environments, they allow the same voices, they revisit the same beliefs that one shape their wounds, and slowly the heart begins to feel vulnerable again.
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Not because God didn't restore them, but because the gates were never protected.
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Learning how to recognize those gates, what influences our heart, what shapes our beliefs, and what we allow access to our inner world is actually one of the key essentials we explore in the coaching work I do with women.
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Because healing is not just an event, it's a formation process.
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Healing begins with surrender, but wholeness grows through stewardship.
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I remember a season in my own life when God had begun doing some deep healing in my heart.
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I felt like he was restoring things inside me that had been wounded for years.
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But I didn't yet understand the importance of guarding the gates of my heart.
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And I found myself going back into certain conversations and environments that slowly pulled me back into the same old beliefs and emotions.
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God had just begun healing.
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It wasn't that God hadn't restored something, it was that I hadn't learned how to protect what he was restoring.
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And maybe you've experienced something like that too.
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So let me ask you a few questions to sit with for a moment.
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What voices currently have the most access to your heart?
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And are those voices leading you closer to God's truth about who you are or pulling you back into old beliefs and old patterns?
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What are you allowing through the gates of your heart right now?
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If the heart truly shapes the direction of our lives, what have we been allowing to shape our hearts?
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And here's another question worth reflecting on.
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If someone could look at the gates of your heart today, what would they see coming in?
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And what would they see going out?
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Maybe you've noticed something like this in your own life.
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Maybe certain voices make you feel small again.
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Maybe certain relationships trigger the very wounds God has been healing.
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Maybe there are environments where you feel peaceful one moment and unsettled the next.
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That's not weakness, that's awareness.
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And awareness is the beginning of wisdom.
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Because once we begin to see the gates of our heart more clearly, we begin stewarding them more wisely.
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Even Jesus guarded his heart.
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Scripture tells us that he did not entrust himself to everyone because he knew what was in people.
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He withdrew from crowds to be with the Father.
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He walked away from environments that were not aligned with his mission.
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There were even times when Jesus removed people from the environment around him because their unbelief was affecting what God wanted to do.
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In one moment when he was about to raise a young girl from the dead, he asked people to leave the room before performing the miracle.
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And in another place in Scripture, it tells us that Jesus could not do many miracles in a certain town because of their unbelief.
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That's important for us to notice.
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Even Jesus understood the influence that environments and people can have.
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And this is more important because sometimes women believe that guarding their heart means they are being unloving.
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But guarding your heart is not hardness.
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It's wisdom, it's discernment, it's learning to walk closely with the Father and allow his wisdom to guide what we allow access to our inner world.
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There's an important difference between walls and gates.
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Walls say no one is allowed in, but healthy gates say, I prayerfully discern what enters my heart.
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Wholehearted women don't build walls, they steward their gates.
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They become aware of what influences their inner world.
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They begin asking questions like, does this voice bring life?
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Does this relationship honor what God is doing in my heart?
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Does this environment align with who God is forming me to be?
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And this doesn't mean that you're to leave every situation and relationship you're in.
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It's just being aware of our hearts, how we feel, and what we're aligning with and how we react to our environment.
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Maybe the Holy Spirit is already bringing something to your mind right now: a voice, a relationship, a belief, an environment, not in condemnation, but in invitation.
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God restores the heart.
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And then he teaches us how to protect what he has restored.
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When a woman begins guarding the gates of her heart, something beautiful begins to happen.
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She becomes less reactive.
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She becomes more discerning.
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She becomes anchored in who God says she is.
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And slowly she begins to live from a place of peace instead of survival.
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That's the life God desires for his daughters.
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Because the truth is this the gates of your heart will determine the direction of your life.
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Whatever is consistently allowed through those gates will eventually shape your beliefs, your choices, and the path your life takes.
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And when we learn to steward those gates with God's wisdom, we begin living from a heart that is protected, aligned, and deeply at peace.
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So I'd like to close us in prayer.
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Thank you, Father, for being the one who restores our hearts.
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Teach us to not only receive your healing, but to steward it well.
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Give us wisdom to recognize the voices, influences, and environments that shape our hearts.
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Help us guard what you are forming within us and lead us into the freedom that comes from living with the heart fully aligned with you.
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In Jesus' name, amen.
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So thank you for joining me on today's podcast.
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If this episode resonated with you, I encourage you to follow or subscribe to the Whole Heart of Women Podcast so you don't miss future conversations about healing, identity, and heart formation.
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And if someone came to your mind while listening today, feel free to share this episode with whoever.
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You never know who might need this message.
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I'd truly love to hear your thoughts and reflections if this podcast was helpful to you.
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You can email me at Kristen at heart to heartministry.com and I'll spell that.
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K-R-I-S-T-E-L at Heart and the number two in the word heartministry.com.
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So that's Kristen at Heart to Heart Ministry.com.
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Or you feel free to connect with me on my website at Heartheart Ministry.com.
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I truly love to hear from you in the next episode.